Friday, March 30, 2012

its a gurrrl thang.

so i decided i wanted to lighten my hair up a couple shades so it looked more natural and less like a fake vampire. BUT as you all know, i live in India, in the country with dirt roads. so... how was i going to accomplish this you ask? simple.

hydrogen peroxide and fabric bleach.

oh yeah.

bad idea, NOPE! i was one of the lucky few who actually dipped her head into a pot of bleach, scalding her scalp for 30min, only to turn out with the perfect shade of light warm brown...

praise KRSNA! ALLAH! JESUS! BUDDAH and whoever else made this possible...

pics to come later as ima take a cat nap now ;)

teacher pain.

When we carefully study what drives people to spiritual life, we often find a surprising correlation between pain and misery and a rise in spiritual earnestness. Pain pushes us to seek relief beyond the body and mind. Pain and disappointment knock on the closed doors of a superficial life and call us to open ourselves to the Lord in full surrender

While doing so, pain frequently slices through the illusory veil of mindless sense pleasure. We arrive at the cardinal question: Where is my ultimate shelter?

But pain is often seriously misunderstood. After having recently suffered bouts of physical pain and disappointment in my life and contemplating deeply the wisdom of some Himalayan yogis, I realized something that may surprise my readers. I tried to put my realization into words in the following poem:

Greetings, I Am Pain, Your Guru

Oh, how you curse and condemn me

as if I am your worst enemy.

You will pay any price

to rid yourself of me finally.

No journey is too far,

no medicine too expensive,

no therapy too abstruse.


You attack me with painkillers,

sedatives,

mindless diversions,

an army of pills.


You call doctor after doctor,

run to healers and hospitals,

approach sadhus for blessings,

burn incense, pray–

simply to kill me, your teacher,

who has come to save

and redirect you.


Allow Me to Introduce Myself

 Please wake up.

I am your sincere friend and not a cruel-hearted enemy.

I am a soul-awakener, an eye-opener, a guide, an inspirer.

How could you have failed

to recognize me?

You thought I was working against your interests.

But I have entered your life as your friend,

an angelic messenger of God.

I brought you the wisdom and strength

necessary to change your wrong ways

and to point you to the path divine.


I break you from harmful attachments

stop your progress on the road to destruction.

I whisper in your ears:

Come out of illusion

and seek shelter in God.

I am the other side of pleasure,

who is my younger brother.

Pleasure begins karmic things in this world

but I construct roads out of this world

which lead to the Divine.

I pinch people so that they think about philosophy,

prompt them to spiritual practice,

teach the things wayward souls have forgotten.

By my power I turn sensualists into transcendentalists.

Pitfalls You Could Not See

You failed to observe the laws of right conduct,

of simple living, spiritual thinking.

You abused body and mind,

did not eat properly,

cultivated unhealthy thoughts.

You abandoned exercise,

neglected to breathe clean air,

drink clean water.

You thought you were “living fast.”


Your mind became a storage room for negativity,

attachment, fear, anger, lust, greed, and illusion.

All these years where were your tears of gratitude

and your sincere service?

Perhaps you were even disrespectful toward the weak,

or the women, the children, the old?


By clever manipulation and lies

you might have tried to “benefit” yourself

at the costs of others.


Go inside now

and find what went wrong.

I am here to help you discover

what you already know.


Others may have abandoned you in disappointment,

but I came to enlighten and heal you.

I am your friend, sent by God.


Lessons to Learn


Lead a natural life of divine love in harmony with God.

Think of Him always.

Serve Him with your senses.

Worship and prostrate yourself before Him.

Conduct your physical, emotional, and social life in a way that supports your spiritual development.

If you don’t know how seek competent advice and learn to live.

Have courage to be yourself, a happy, free servant of eternity.


Follow what I came to teach.

When you do, surely I will give you peace and leave you.

Be blessed.


Epilogue

I am aware that some of our pain is “karmic debt” that we cannot escape so easily. We may have to tolerate it for some time until the debt is paid. There is, however, hope, a light at the end of the tunnel. By devoted spiritual practices, one of two things can happen:

1. We may develop the required insight and change of habits. At that time our teacher, pain, may be satisfied that we have learned our lessons and say good-bye.
2. We arrive at the spiritual level whence we are much better able to deal with pain and disappointment.

-Sacinandana Swami

already starting to lament about leaving my sanctuary...









Tuesday, March 27, 2012

trying.

Dont try to see God, but act in a way that God sees you.



ya heard?

sometimes i feel like i'm already dead just thinking that i'm alive.
-my dad.

all time fav scene.


'She Smiled Sweetly / Ruby Tuesday' (The Rolling Stones)
The Royal Tenenbaums (2002)

It's said that Jackson Browne, watching The Royal Tenenbaums, was so transported watching the "These Days" sequence that he thought wistfully, "this guy plays like I used to play." And then he realized - it is me. Wes Anderson's brilliant use of the Nico original galvanized and reinvented the song even for Jackson Browne, who now plays the song in its original mode at his live performances. All this, because Anderson picked the right song, the right camera speed and the perfect actors to play Margot and Richie Tenenbaum. It aches. And there is another stunning music-in-movies moment just around the corner in Tenenbaums, when Anderson busts out The Rolling Stones.

Margot and Richie have finally escaped to be alone under a tent with a record player. Their music choice is a vinyl (hooray) copy of Between The Buttons. Anderson lets the album track in the long unrequited love scene between the two. (Sadly, they're adoptive siblings) When "She Smiled Sweetly" flows into "Ruby Tuesday," even though Wes is re-sequencing the album, the result is an left-hook of deeper emotion. Now this already wonderful scene takes off into true greatness. Many a director has tried to use "Ruby Tuesday," the evocative Brian Jones/Stones classic, and failed. Wes solves the problem by letting you hear it the way the way you'd hear it in life; devastating and random in the way it pops up, innocently requiring you to remember the moment forever.

-cameron crowe

someone once said...

that this song was better than porn.



agreed.

past horror.

i was missing my sister this morning and thought about all the random things we've done together.

one instance that came up was when i decided to educated myself with the movies 'A Clockwork Orange' and 'Natural Born Killers'... don't ask me why. well, being the dutiful sister she has always been, she decided to watch them with me.

twenty minutes into 'Clockwork' we switched it off because it was too ridiculous to follow, but for some reason we made it all the way through 'Killers'... and a part of us have never been the same again.

miss you jay-jay.


hes MINE!


style icon...


true dat.


without you, who would i be?


i heard that...

a man i work with just walked by my desk and muttered:

"nobody cares"

it was a bit sad actually, and i realized that he is quite right...

Monday, March 26, 2012

blogging again.

so im going to start this blog up again for the two months i have left here in India. come June i will be heading to Australia with my fiance for 3 months! so allow me to ramble on about love, life and the such so that the time will pass me by a bit quicker!